Today is the day when I have talked to my sister about what’s going on and what needs to be done about it. Its getting weirder and weirder as the days progress and I thought it’ll pass away but it’s not. The world entered covid, my family got psuedo infected, I like the word psuedo and I have been living lost from months now. I was feeling too damn away from myself for so long that I had to get into the shittiness of the world to stabalise myself.
I don’t mean it like that, to be clear I do like a lot of it and in it its just I wasn’t able to feel truly me and that’s why I wasn’t writing anything about myself and stuff around me. It was also because I was too afraid about sharing my intricate thoughts because well I don’t know!
It may also be because I haven’t read othr people’s versions of their stories in a long long time and maybe that’s why I was feeling this way. The productivity bit, as I was talking to her was about this time when I am job less and I need to find something to do. She at once said, as she heard me, to find something I’ve been pushing away from too long. When I told her about the crappiness of it all and that I don’t have much interest left, she said that I did by a camera many years ago and that I do click photos with it, good or bad doesn’t matter much, as long as you don’t let it eat dust. That didn’t even cross my mind, not the way she said it! Marvelous, what magic!
I mean, I took it out and went with it twice around the neighbourhood park where I play a little volleyball and stretch some, that I clicked a few photos and created an album on Facebook. There were a few old clicks too which I uploaded to my Instagram account. Both of these uploads got some apprecitation, and even if not, its not nothing! In a thousand years I wouldnt have thought I could do something along the lines of taking photos and writing about places around Delhi, maybe. Its like getting back into a college suit I’ve worn again that I kept hanging aside for a rainy day.
Something.
I was afraid as I am now but should I be is important! I mean, why so! I don’t have a life I thought I wanted because I’ve been measuring it with brand names without even knowing about any of it. More importantly, I don’t have to, because who the hell cares!
So it’s settled, I’m picking up my camera and a bag with all the essentials () and roaming around Delhi. I’ll definitely need a list of places to go to and I was very very excited to go to the saier -e- dilli not because it would have been great or not. But because it would’ve been the human contact I needed in days apart from the same set of faces.
Autocorrect is a bitch!
thouwriter 